On January 31, 2019, Anthony Ginez, the mitigator for Community Resources Initiative, who is working on Luis Rojas’ case with defense attorney Alexandria McClure and Harriet, the CRI videographer, came to Portland to interview me. They had interviewed members of Luis’ family and they wanted to talk with me again. They were making a presentation for the Federal Department of Justice, explaining why the death penalty was not appropriate for Luis.
During the course of the afternoon, as Anthony and Harriet posed questions to me about my relationship with Matthew, I was forced to think about our entire history, about the actual limits of our connection when he was alive and how his murder and my sense that I was actually, quite literally, responsible for his death, allowed me to become aware of how centrally important Matt had become to my entire life. You might say that Matt’s murder, the finality of his death and my sense of responsibility surrounding it, pushed him to the very center of my life, where he now sits, determining, in some sense, all of my actions—my intention to honor his short life by living absolutely the best life I am capable of living, and that, of course, now centers on these three young men—Luis, Josue and Eddie—who have been charged with his murder. So in his death, in the finality of that condition, his absolute absence, he has become much more central to my life than he was when he was alive.
The question, then, that I raise in this short essay is, “How can we turn this tragedy, this grievous error, this taking of Matt’s life, this robbing his sons of their father—forever—how can we turn this tragedy to good?
This extended essay first appeared on Justice Conversation and has since been published by Fernwood Press under the title, “What is Justice?” It can be purchased in printed form here: http://www.barclaypressbookstore.com/What-Is-Justice.html